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Thursday, July 23, 2020

Self Esteem, A Self-Struggle That Awaits Everyone

Good morning everyone. Here again for the dreaded topic "SELF ESTEEM".

So, basically everyone who read through the last post has come inbox at a point or the other to ask if I am a psychologist. Lol, well, I will answer that question here and now.
I am Ada Paul, 300 level student of Funai, your favorite Nwanyiakara and of course your sure plug for better small chops and healthy drinks. Looking at this introduction, you can notice that there no trace of “psychologist” in there, neither am i aspiring to be one yet I am able to talk about self-esteem and with vast in-depth knowledge i am here to tell you how.

You all know what they say about experience right? “Experience is the best teacher!”
so, what if I told you I battled “low self-esteem” for a better part of my life? What if I told you there was a time I felt intimidated in the midst of classmates and friends? What if I told you that there was a time I felt like I was not enough? Lol, it’s pretty unbelievable for everyone including people who have known me for a very long time. Well, take your time and read with me…

I am the first child in a family of 4, eldest and I must add what you would call “the Shrek” of the house. My 3 other siblings as seen in the previous pictures are beautiful and spontaneous. They had turn heads at every place they entered and at whatever time, and then there was me who you had assume is but a boy. At 18, I looked like a teenage 15years old boy all flat chested and butt less. 

For people who knew me then, they would attest to the fact that I was always “extra”. I wasn’t going all out to do those things because I loved them, nah, I did most of them because I felt I needed a lot of “patching to be catching” it’s a rhyme yeh! Lol.

I was practically the only one whose face had gone sour in the house. I have a lot of blemishes on my face and my skin too, so when I say I know self-esteem not by reading books or extracts from goggle you should understand that it’s because I have “experiential knowledge”.

Now, the only good thing I had was my intelligence. I am very brainy, crafty and creative, so most of the time I try to bottle up and squash fear. But, this is low “self”- esteem we’re talking about, something that comes from inside of you and then gets portrayed outside. It is more of “your personal evaluation” of yourself than it is about people’s evaluation of you. I felt undeserving, I felt unlovable, I felt soooo uncomfortable in my own skin. Low self esteem takes the better part of you and shuts you up in a box. It delt so much with me and made me become edgy and sensitive.

Sensitive to small talks, actions and whatever it Is you can think of. You begin to read meanings into everything, begin to see more of the negative things of life than the positive. At this stage, condemnation sets in and boom! You have a person who feels he/she is undeserving of anything good. i fought o, "i fought the good fight of faith"🤣 and i am only going to help you fight yours if you're willing.😊😊😊

If you read to this point, I would want to say a big thank you to you because, your feedbacks are what keeps me motivated to complete this series. We will stop here for today, drop your comments in the comment section, we will continue tomorrow 9pm.
I love you all.
Muuuaarrrrrh
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